Dear Diary,


Am I that cruel ? I didn't mean to hurt him. Everything was planned. I just couldn't say no. How can a daughter break her mother's heart. I love you but nothing matters more than family. Today was supposed to be a girl's happiest moment but for me only tears of sorrow filled my days. Nothing more. The feeling of emptiness welled up inside of me. My whole world was upside down.

Nobody understands how I feel. I'm torn apart inside out. Everything seems so hard, I can't bear with it anymore. I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea. My decision will effect not only my entire life but also my loved one's. But fate has a better plan for us dear. I love you but we can't be together. I hope someday we'll meet again and I promise to never erase you from my memory. All of our bittersweet memories. Such perfect moments.

I'm sorry dear. I broke your heart into a million pieces. Though I, myself are mending the pieces of my heart. No matter what we do we can't fight destiny and I hope you'll find someone better. Someone worth dying for. Someone that'll cherish you for all your life. I've once said that i can't promise things won't be broken but I will never leave you. But today I broke my promise. I'm sorry.

I'm no longer yours dear. I belong to someone else now. Someone that have sworn to cherish me in sickness and in health. I can't do anything and it kills me. I hope you understand. Maybe this is what's best for us. We can never predict what the future holds for us. Forever you will be in my heart. Things won't be easy but I will try to love my husband though I know it will never be the same as you. You're my first love but some people just can't accept that love is not blind. But they're the ones blinding it with money and position.

There's so much I want to say to you but I don't think all of that matters now. We can't change the past and we can't undo what's been done. We're just human. So sad but true. We can't turn back time. I hope fate fares you well dear. I really do.

He used to be my friend, then my best friend but somehow our hearts were bonded by something called love. We loved each other. We still do. Even though the world's against us but our love stay solid. But now it's all shattered. Broken. Your name will forever be in my heart. Nothing can change this I promise you.

I could see the sorrow in your eyes the moment I walked down the isle. I hope that you could also see that my soul was crying to see you there, on my wedding day. But not as my groom. The perfect silk gown looked so beautiful on my glass-hour body. But deep inside I was not even smiling honestly. Everything on that day was fake except my feelings for you. They will never change. Not in a hundred years.

The memory of you coming to see me for one last time that day is still vivid in my mind. You told me not to worry and just keep moving ahead with my new life even without you by my side. You didn't know how it hurts to hear everything you said knowing I might not hear your voice again. I've never imagine that our last kiss would be on my wedding day. I will always remember the soft touch of your lips pressed against mine. You gave me one last smile then you left and closed the door behind you quietly. I fell on my knees, bursting into tears.

Jennifer <3