Sophrosyne

"It's easy for you to give advice, it's not you. You're unscathed, you're not in their shoes. You're not feeling what they're feeling you're not thinking what they're thinking. It's easy for you, it's not easy for them"


There was a time I sometimes got offended when people ask me advice and then go off doing the exact opposite. Why ask for advice if you're not gonna listen, consider and think about it even just for a minute.

They probably did. They probably think about it all night, gnawing up their sleep and comfort. They probably think about it a lot. Sometimes I'd like to think I'm selfless, I believe that I'm selfless when in reality I am not. I am the most selfish person I've ever known. I comfort people tricking myself that I'm doing it for them but most of the time it's because I feel worthy, I feel like I'm useful in some way for them and that makes me feel good. Selfish.

How to stop being selfish.

I write about love a lot for someone with little to none experience of being in a relationship.

The love of my life.

He's beautiful. Everything I could ever imagine in a person all wrapped into one body of smiles and warm hugs. The love of my life has always been a winter boy but he had summer tucked in his back pocket, always so warm and comforting. He hangs the stars in my sky and helps me discover a universe inside me I don't know existed. The love of my life is beautiful, body and soul. He exudes life and positivity like his soul feeds on it, keeping him sane and grounded. The love of my life is everything I could ever imagine in a person. Maybe I fell in love with him because he is everything I am not. He is everything I wanted to be. The love of my life makes me want to be a better person. He sees sunshine on rainy days and brought me coffee when all I wanted was to curl up in a ball and never see the world. The love of my life reads to me whenever I'm too engrossed in my books and forget to eat. The love of my life has always been there, from the start, he's always been there. The love of my life has seen me at my worst, on the bathroom floor at 2am, the love of my life has always been there, he's always been there. Now it's my turn. I want to be the one holding him up when the weight of the world is crushing him down. I want to make him breakfast in bed and let him sleep in on the weekends. The love of my life has always been there, now it's time for me to be there for him. I want the love of my life to know that every morning when he wakes up, I will always be there, I promise. I want the love of my life to know that I will hold his hand through his bad days and binge-eat ice cream over netflix. The love of my life deserves the world and I am devastated the world is not at my expanse to offer. But I hope when night falls and his thoughts come out from their darkest caves, I will be able to hold him and tell him it's okay, everything's going to be okay. I will try my best to be his world, the only thing I could offer, my love and my heart.