This post is a little late than usual, I just didn't feel like writing until now.
This year's birthday feels like every other year, a little lonely but nothing too bad. I get to spend some time with myself and take a little break, at home with my favourite shows and iced coffee. It was nice.
I remember last year for my birthday I wished for contentment and to learn to let go of my fear of uncertainties, and I think I have come a long way in regards to that. Life has been so crazy the past year, quite literally. In a good way though. In a good way. A lot has changed for me, but at the same time some part of me remain the same, grounded. I like that. May 2023, I'm engaged now surprise surprise. This time around last year, romantic relationship is the last thing in my list. Hell, it was probably nonexistent, didn't even make it on the list. But that's just how life goes, jumping into the unknown. Uncertainties. I guess in my journey to find contentment and embracing uncertainties I also learned to be more open to experiences and people. It has helped me to not let fear stop me from living, from touching everything my heart desires. Which of course comes with consequences, good or bad. I'm still learning, still taking every step into the unknown with my eyes closed. But now I have one more person to hold my hand and brave the bottomless ocean with me.
This year I want to appreciate more sunshine and glimmers in my life. Small moments of happiness, tiny speckled stardusts the universe leave in its wake. I want to be happy again, genuinely. To learn that happiness is a spectrum, a journey and not a destination. I want to learn to appreciate the little sunshines in my life, big or small. I want to appreciate small joys of life instead of constantly waiting for one big bang of happy storm.
Turning 28 isn't so bad. Remember how I talked about not dreading nearing 30 anymore? Yeah it's true, like I don't care about it anymore I wish I could tell that to 25 year old Nadiah, she was depressed as hell thinking about turning 30. Hah
I've always loved May and this year it's even more special <3
May; of sunshine and glimmers. Love and faith.
