Sophrosyne

Hi.

What's the purpose of people blogging? Well I think as a medium to communicate, to express what can't be expressed verbally and to just write. I used to love writing a lot and it's something I enjoy to do. But now I don't really have the time for it anymore. I still write, but essays and articles, the educational stuff. Those are boring I must say. I miss writing without boundaries, without rules and limitations just pouring everything on a blank piece of paper. It's like what I'm doing right now, I don't even have to stop to think of sentences or phrases it just came naturally. It feels good and I feel good. I'm not good at it despite I love writing but I'm okay with it, there's always room for improvement.

I created this blog about three-ish years ago, during my after SPM phase where I've got absolutely nothing to do. I used to like it when people read my blog, but these days not so much because it's rather private to me. This is where I rant and babble about most things, things that are sometimes irrelevant to others but significant to me.  It's like I write for myself to read. A mini love letter from me to me, oh how sweet.

Talking about blogging, I've been wanting to try live blogging where I can blog about the things that are happening right in front of me at that very moment. But sadly, the only time I have my laptop with me is when I'm at the library. And libraries aren't such a place people live blogged about. I wanted to live blog the busy morning of London. Seeing Londoners rushing to work and spilling coffee on another person's shirt, watching the buzzing traffic of the city and surrounded by people, people everywhere. I guess that's the beauty of living in cities, you're never alone even when you are.

To you who stayed when the world left, thank you.
Thank you.

If you read my previous posts, the ones I posted ever since I land my two feet here in the UK for the very first time you'll notice how bitter and little I like living here. Mainly, because my life was surrounded by the things I'm not willing to do. I hate how I don't have my close friends with me, I hate the course I was studying, I hate that I can't do the things I liked anymore. It was so hard, so full of restrictions and I was miserable. God knows how much I wanted to go home and return to where things fit into place. Let's just say things didn't go exactly as I planned (well it was expected nonetheless). Long story short, I had a major breakdown during my summer break. It's impossible to recover in a short amount of time but I manage. Honestly, the reason for my 'end-of-the-world-shenanigan' was mainly because I feel like I've crushed everyone's hope and expectation of me. I feel like I've let everyone down, especially my parents who have been there for me all these times. But deep down I'm relieved. I know that it's not for me and if given another chance to do it all over again and fix it, I wouldn't. I'm glad that it's all over.