I wrote this letter hoping it will never reach you. I'm pouring my heart into an ocean of endless possibilities, singing melodies you didn't know. I hope someday I could love another like I loved you. You came crashing, like waves of saltwater and sea bubbles erasing foot steps others left on my battered heart. I found myself slowly letting go of what ifs and what could've been. I found myself loving you, I found myself loving me. Maybe this isn't love, but I'm grateful still. I learned new ways of loving when I met you, ones where you made me love myself first. Seeing you weave your way through life made me want to be happy and I think that's enough. You inspired me for greater things, simply by holding my hand along the way and telling me you believe. I could never thank you enough for existing. I hope someday I could inspire another like you did to me, such a great honour to watch someone grow into their capacity, finding galaxies in themselves. I wish you well. Wherever you are, I wish you the greatest ending.
Sometimes I feel like a walking contradiction. I could say I'm a very perceptive person, especially to people and their behaviourism. At least I think so. But somehow I'm very oblivious to people's attitudes or feelings towards me. I'm not sure if I'm actually oblivious or I've just learned to tune it all out of my head. Like there's a deeper part of me that knows but an even greater part of me choose to ignore it and just brush it off. People often told me I don't hold grudges and I have very little hate in me. I forgive easily and I don't take things to heart most of the time. I guess it's true but in some twisted way that trait turned me into someone ignorant, I'm not sure if ignorant is the right word but that's all I can come up with at the moment. Insensitive might be more accurate. Yeah, insensitive. I'm already bad with confrontation, what a great combination. Does that make me a bad person? I've been working on trying to be more considerate towards other people's feelings but sometimes certain thing just go by unnoticed. If you think I'm being inconsiderate towards your feelings, please tell me. Whatever you're feeling, it's valid. You're valid.
