It's one of those days again for me today. I do not know what triggered it, probably nothing, probably something I'm still not willing to talk about. But it's a bad day or a bad half-day if we're prioritizing details. I've been doing really well too for the last few weeks or so. I've been sleeping early, waking up at 8am or earlier for whole weeks straight without the help of my alarms. I watched my eating habits, not drinking coffee as much anymore and never eating past 6pm these days. I've been feeling really really good so this crash feels a lot more painful than usual. It's like all the progress I've made, gone just like that. It sucks. But that's just what it is. You crash and get back up and start over. Haven't felt like this in so long so it's taking some time for me to process this. Looking back, there was a time in my life when feeling like this was normal for me I don't how I lived like that bless my past self for actually not offing myself. Like I'm having one shitty day right now and I'm writing this at 2am, barely seeing what I'm typing because I've been crying. Maybe I'd wake up tomorrow and it'll be better, maybe it won't who the fuck knows, definitely not me, I don't know why I'm here writing all this I probably won't even post it. I feel a lot better than 10mins ago before I was writing so that's a good thing right.