The undeniable feeling of missing you
November 15, 2015People lose friends all the time, what's the big deal. But not me, I have never really lose friends until quite recently. Maybe it's because I have very few people I call friends, the rest, acquaintance. I've heard and read numerous stories about people losing friends along the way of growing up and I know sooner or later I'm bound to experience the same situation. But it never occurs to me that it would be this fast, this instance where I haven't even reach 21 yet. And I absolutely have no idea it hurts this much. A whole one year, and I still flinch every time your name pops up.
My daily lives resume and everything went back to normal but once in a while when I think of you my heart aches and there's this empty and hollow feeling every time I think what happened to us, what went wrong? It's not just that, I feel enraged, confuse and sometimes on the verge of shedding tears. There's so much more I want to do with you, so many things I need to share. Sometimes when I go out, I'll see things that would remind me of you and I'd go Oh hey X loves that! I should take a picture and send it to him later. Then it hit me. Oh we're no longer talking to each other. And my heart drops a little.
I can't think of why. I'm sure you have your reasons, whatever it may be. Sometimes I wonder, all those times, have you ever considered me as your friend at all? I guess maybe people don't value friendships like I do. Maybe they have their own way of appreciating something they call friendship.
I have friends that are like family to me, some are even more than that, but I can't deny that I spend little time exchanging 'hello's and 'hi's but I'll make time even if it's just sending an ugly vain selfie of me. That's what friendships are to me, the thought that counts and I wonder have I ever cross your mind at all?
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